I’m not good at much.
I get nervous at the idea of interaction;
I trip and stutter over my words
As I fumble to say just the right thing,
Trying not to be too much, but just enough.
I can’t hold eye contact for long,
Fearing that someone will see just beyond
What my irises try to cover: a spoiled mind.
Or maybe it’s building connections
That makes unease fill my bones.
I don’t have much authority in my voice
And maybe even less back bone.
I’m not very funny, I don’t give speeches
Or life advice without second guessing.
It’s words that seem to fail me most.
But what I see is what makes the difference.
The small changes in behavior like
The crinkles in the corner of your eyes
Or how your shoulders shrug
With the weight of an unneeded guilt.
It lies within what I hear and how I listen,
Temporarily letting your baggage weigh on me
As you talk and talk, telling stories about
Things no one else bothered to listen to.
Listening to laughter, fears, and cries.
And even in all of my awkwardness,
I’d let it go and pull you into a gentle embrace
So that my arms build a protective wall
Around the person I so desperately
Want to protect against their own world.
I’m not good at much
Besides giving time to people I care about
So that their burdens become my burdens,
Wiping away their sadness and tears,
And giving them chance to feel free.
I've already read this several times, and each time, my heart is warmed by this. Not only did I relate to the second-guessing and over-analyzing, but also the way we worry how we can be perceived. Let me tell you, while everyone has their talents and skills or other things that may be effortless to them, what I consider to be the most valuable thing is listening. Your compassion is evident in every verse. To me, that beats out everything else. There are so many things in this world that can be "taught", and one can learn and excel in, but it takes a certain kind of genuine-hearted person to support another person, ease their burden, and be there in a way others could never. To me, that's the best kind of person and I sure hope you are appreciated by those who know you.
Thank you! To those who know me, or take the time to truly know me, know that this is my biggest attribute. And it sounds like I’m feeding my ego but I mean it in the most humble way. I understand what it’s like to be heard but not listened to. One is just noise and the other is understanding. I try my best :)