Calm Before the Broken Dawn

You are very welcome my sweet, truly love this poem!!

STAR! This is such a brilliant idea, to rewrite or continue a poem and make a part 2. I want to share the two times I read this, first without the "The Wolves Within" preface, then going back and reading that piece then this again.

My first impression:

Certain phrases here work, but in other places, I feel like the adjectives "clog" up the poem and feel too forced. I think it seems too cluttered when you have an adjective --> noun--> verb --> adjective --> noun. It repeats too much in my opinion, whereas some lines could use a breather and would be just as impactful, if not more so, with a noun by itself.

The phrases that stuck with me the most:

"incubated howls" and "fraying fears".

I also learned a new word with "chthonic", so that was super interesting!

I think the last few lines are the strongest, in their simplicity, but also the haunting implications. Silence personified like that, like it has the power to grab a person's neck and to twist it etc, is terrifying. Then, waking up to realize it was just a nightmare, yet may feel like you can't quite shake it off. That's unnerving for sure.

My second impression (after reading "The Wolves Within" first):

"The Wolves Within" felt a little more natural, and almost more open-ended. There weren't specifics, and I think the simplicity worked for creating that mystery around these creatures. The title highlighted that interpretation of humanity, how we can regress and want to move somewhere, yet have no direction and almost lose our sense of perception and reality. The lines become blurred as far as who we are; there is only emptiness.

In "Calm Before the Broken Dawn", I wanted perhaps more emotional connection, though you describe the fear and panic and sorrow and feelings of neglect, I feel more removed from it and not as invested, if that makes sense. I did like how you personified and gave action to "weepings" and the line about neglect. Though I think it would be more engaging to have "neglect" itself scar, instead of "neglected callings"?

Just some thoughts! Always enjoy reading your new work and it's creative to continue a piece from years ago and recreate it or take inspiration from it :)

Really cool visuals Star! Nominated!

Any dream that stops with silence grabbing your neck is a nightmare.
Thank you for introducing me to the word: chthonic. This word is apt for this, soon to be a stolen satanic soul.
Nice job.