thin air

This is lovely. I really enjoyed the dream-like feel this gave me. It was like lying in the sun on a summers day when you're not quite asleep yet not quite awake either.

I like the formatting on this so much, it really gives even more impact to your voice. You also give a lot of movement to things and personification. The sky closing her eyes made me think she is now shut off from you. There are no open skies to give you hope or help you see the other side. Everything is crowded and dark. The clouds passing through reminded me of ghosts, and you even lose sight of them, and there is only the void, the heaviness of the air.

The ending lines are stunning. You mentioned the cold air in the second stanza, and now, there's almost a welcoming moment from the stars. You need the heat, and even though you may be too close to them, and it will end in tragedy, you can only acknowledge their warmth right now. I thought it was very telling that you separated "but" and the implication of "you're no longer floating" to signify catastrophe, to find this heat that you needed momentarily. Even if you won't be able to breathe.

So much depth in this, I will keep re-reading!

Nominated

I do appreciate the format of this piece.
To me this felt like a dream or a journey where the deeper you sleep the higher you float/ move onto the next level.
Small typo on line 4.
Take care.