the edge of heaven (senryu)

by Mr. Darcy   Feb 14, 2021

our first moon dance seemed
to last a thousand nights as

slowly our lips touched


Mr. Darcy
© 2021


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  • 9 months ago

    by Em

    Mr D,
    The title made me think of loss, at first, though I know the rule of the senryu so I wondered what 'the edge of heaven' would feel like.... For me, it would be waking up without being in pain, or feeling like a burden possibly not having to fake a smile, not that many people know I'm faking anyway maybe even just being able to find joy again in reading a book, writing poetry or just eating a well deserved bar of chocolate without feeling 'fat'.... I guess 'the edge of heaven' for each of us is different isn't it? It did however, get me wondering what it would be like when I died too... Did I do enough to be remembered etc? Though, I reckon we all feel like this at some point in our lives. Sorry, I digress.

    The actual content of this poem is simplistic yet extremely romantic and beautiful, that it made my heart swell and brought a smile to my face because you are deserving of feeling 'the edge of heaven' even if it took a long 'moon dance' to feel it though these things seem to take a while especially when they are right or you meet your soul mate, so I'm told.

    Such a lovely piece and a lovely image portrayed in such a beautiful form.
    Take care,
    Em x

  • 9 months ago

    by Renegade Angel

    Such lovely imagery!

    • 9 months ago

      by Mr. Darcy

      Thank you for commenting.

  • 9 months ago

    by hiraeth

    A truly ethereal write!

    • 9 months ago

      by Mr. Darcy

      Thank you. I'm an old romantic fool!

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