Yesterday (NaPoWriMo 2021 Day 11)

edit: This poem might trigger someone.
I don't want that, so I'm putting this warning here just in case.

It seems that just a day ago
I was still you, but now I know
That I must follow time round blindly
Yet if perchance this note may find me
As a past form of myself
I've written this to warn or help
And if you listen and prepare
I hope things will go better there
So here's my message, let it guide me
Alert me of what lurks inside me

You want to shrink, and shrink you will
Not just in size: In hope until
You'll hide in corners, seats, and jackets
(Attempts to hide your hatred, mask it)

You'll open up your skin to cope
Then in a panic, split your throat
Scars appear where once there weren't
Your clothes retain a scent of "burnt"
Addictions that you thought were beat
Now see you as a tasty treat

While you're reading you may think
"My room is clean, I see a shrink,
I eat enough, have friends I chat
Could something really alter that?"

Yes I am afraid it's true
You won't like how it changes you
What motivation you have got
Will all be drained, like it or not
You won't progress in terms of schooling
Fail a class, feel like you're fooling
Decades of your life away
All while you search for strength to stay

Hug your friends: One day you'll be
Separated by a screen
A plague is coming and will leave
Suffering you won't believe

Life will shift to all online
Or most of it, most of the time
Don't let yourself get too distracted
The web is deep and seems attractive
Steer from things that tempt your mind
In years ahead, you, I will find
That time is precious, so more than ever
Be cautious how you choose endeavors

Time will pass and so will friends
But some relationships must end
And may halt on a sour note
that stings your eyes and fills your throat

In many ways you will exist
The same you do when reading this
But why remain when you could prove
It's better when you change and move
Failure's a gift, learn to expect it
Things you enjoy, start to perfect it
Time won't last long anyways
So please, for me: start yesterday

- Obscure
© 2021

(Based on Em's day 11 NaPoWriMo prompt, this is a jumbled mess of things I might want to say to my 18 year old self if I had a chance to write a letter. My letter-writing skills are lacking, so I didn't bother editing this either. For now this is the only version exists, but I find the idea intriguing, so I may write a different version at some point, who knows.)