Late Night Cafe

by Star   May 25, 2020


The smell of humid air and the flickering
sign awakened the fire within you.

The windows weren't wide enough for you,
so you waited for a chance to slip through
the green wooden door;

you loved the sound of knocking on glass,
the cold did not bother you when their
melodies transmitted to the candles inside
and the flames danced to the beat.

After you made your entrance, the scent
of lavender hugged you tightly as you made
your way to the ignited dangling hollyhocks.

Sipping on a warm aromatic Brazilian coffee;
you sat beside the window anticipating the rise
for you, my soul, to set back on your transit.

5


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Latest Comments

  • 1 month ago

    by Em (marmite)

    I am literally speechless. I agree this read had such a calming effect.
    Take care
    Em x

    • 1 month ago

      by Star

      Thank you so much, it makes me happy when people find my writes calming ^_^

  • 1 month ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I second that this was very calming to read.

    I loved the atmosphere you've created, not just simple images or descriptions, but it felt real and somehow familiar. The specifics of lavender and hollyhocks (which I had to google, and they are quite lovely) made the piece feel even more "cozy" and easygoing.

    I honestly feel like this poem is one of your strongest, and tried thinking of some suggestions. These are thoughts I had initially, but feel free to dismiss!

    "ignited dangling hollyhocks."
    - I can't decide if this feels like a bit of a mouthful? Maybe have a comma after "ignited"?

    "Sipping on a warm aromatic Brazilian coffee;
    you sat beside the window anticipating the rise
    for you, my soul, to set back on your transit."

    - I wasn't too keen on your choice of "warm" and "aromatic", simply because I would use the words to describe how I feel when reading this piece, so the words didn't feel like they were the strongest choices.
    - Comma after "window"?
    - I'm used to seeing "setback" used as a noun, not used as a verb. It kind of broke the flow for me, and didn't feel as satisfying being used in the ending line.

    Also, I thought writing in second person enhanced this poem, and made it easier to connect as the reader. Usually, you write in third person from what I gather, so this seemed like a nice change. And I didn't feel like the "you"s dominated or muddled your intent.

    So glad you shared this with us, Star!

    • 1 month ago

      by Star

      I alwayyys appreciate your suggestions, they really help me ^_^
      Thank you so much!!

  • 1 month ago

    by hiraeth

    Is the title "Late Night Cafe" a reference to 'The Night Cafe' & 'Cafe Terrace at Night'? An even later version of that is what my mind pictured the second I saw the title.

    "The smell of humid air and the flickering
    sign awakened the fire within you."

    I really like the imagery in this, sets the tone of it being really late on a summer night. I like the idea of 'flickering sign' awakening a person's fire; since it's already dark at night, bright signs albeit flickering as a concept of a sort of 'sun' is interesting.

    "The windows weren't wide enough for you,
    so you waited for a chance to slip through
    the green wooden door;

    you loved the sound of knocking on glass,
    the cold did not bother you when their
    melodies transmitted to the candles inside
    and the flames danced to the beat."

    I'm also thinking of 'Nighthawks' by Edward Hopper, because of the wide window, but the green wooden door also makes me think of Gogh for some reason as well. That being said, I like how ominous this feels. The person's out at late night, drawn to a place that still has some life to it but they're a bit unsure about entering. But still do so, the imagery of the candles almost being extinguished by their entrance by the cold draft coming in is interesting.

    "After you made your entrance, the scent
    of lavender hugged you tightly as you made
    your way to the ignited dangling hollyhocks."

    Lavenders symbolize silence & calmness, hollyhocks being a symbol for the circle of life - you set an ethereal atmosphere, a resting stop for a person's soul (which you follow up with the next stanza). I really love the idea of that.

    "Sipping on a warm aromatic Brazilian coffee;
    you sat beside the window anticipating the rise
    for you, my soul, to set back on your transit."

    A perfect ending. I really, really, really love the idea of a soul visiting a resting stop on their journey, it's weirdly calming, and warming. This is easily one of my favourites by you recently! I'm a bit upset that I didn't get to nominate this first but hopefully the site recognizes how wonderful this is and selects it for the week!

    • 1 month ago

      by Star

      It wasn’t a reference to anything, but I’m really glad you connected it to something. Thank you soooooo much ^_^

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