Blame

Im not taking the blame anymore,
For things that aren't my fault, things that were out of my control.
For my soulmate thinking I'm everything wrong in this world, just because I'm messed up by life, just because my love for her is pure and without end, just for loving her.
For my dad's violence, for all the bullying I endured, for being sexually abused, for surviving getting knocked down when two young girls were killed.
I'm done with taking the blame.
Its burdened me for so long,
Kept me down, made me attempt suicide quite a few times. And it's wrong,
I'm not to blame,
For so long, feeling worthless, pointless, not worthy of breathing this air,
And as tears roll down my face as i write, I realise,
I'm not to blame.
So why do I cry uncontrollably? Why do I still feel this weight, this sense of futility?
Why do I feel all this pain and guilt.
How can I feel this?
When I'm not taking the blame anymore.