A dozen words left unsaid.

(trigger warning)

It was messier than I meant it to be.

I now have the words to communicate
what I couldn’t before:

help/ hold me/ see me/ hurt/ by myself/
be gentle/ take me back/ don’t give up/
unwanted/ want me/ LOVE ME

Did I do it to feel close to you?
You walked out with
someone like me,
someone you once cared about.

I didn’t give myself a chance to breathe.

I bolted to the bathroom
and hid in a stall,
my breathing uneven.

But I wasn’t ready
for red to spill so quick.

I’m sorry, not to you,
but to myself…

I never wanted this hurt.