Unseen Thoughts. (edited)

My heads a whirling carousel
Thinking such awful thoughts
Painful pictures and memories
The spinning never stops.

A hidden trail of blended scars
That ride my pale skinned arm
My friend pleading me to stop
And ask why I do myself harm.

The curse of depression
Has become my friend
If it just won't go away
At least I can pretend.

One night I'll make a wish
Upon the moon and the stars
To give me the courage
To make one last final scar.

I'll pray to the Gods above
To grant me the happiness
I think I should deserve
My soul and heart to bless.

On my fifteenth birthday
I'll wish for just one friend
To be real and to be true
So my weakness will mend.

When I have my razorblade
Being gripped in my hand
I will do everything I can
My suicide as planned.

Until my casket is lowered
Into the deepened ground
Roses will rest on the grass
From where my body was found.

To many of you it's tragedy
To alot of you, you'll smile
Now that I have finally gone
I'll go that extra mile.

Just some days I don't care
About life and what it gives
The meaning of it too
And how we can't forgive.

Just sometimes I wonder
If this world is even for me
Because all this pain and loss
Are things I thought I'd never see..