My Thoughts, Thoughts....

I’m always sitting on the floor thinking about life.
Of all the things that have brought me to strife.
My head is filled up of all the moments my heart has bled.
I frown knowing my life is not okay yet.

I still have faith that the sun will shine on me.
I just hope I won’t be dead when it’s my turn to breathe.
For now I will continue to sit lonely here, eyes shut.
Hoping this is just a dream and happily I’ll wake up.

My family, they’re all blinded by my fake smiles and laughs.
They think I’m happy with this life that I have.
Extremely opposite to what they think I feel.
I’m sadder than sad and I’m longing to be healed.

My Love life is all just down to the drain.
Not capable of loving when I feel such pain.
My tears won’t stop shedding each day and night.
I am literally watching my life pass me by.

My friends are always happy and occupied.
When I call on them they just don’t have the time.
I'll deal with this on my own;everyone can go ahead, leave.
Maybe one day someone out there will hear my silent screams.

So these thoughts keep coming to me like a light switch.
And I don’t know about my future plans, coz I can’t afford it.
Too many thoughts are twisting and turning inside.
I don’t know if I will ever come out to the light.

I know I have not kept myself up enough.
I say this because of all the times I have cut.
I have slit myself so many times, and I know I need to stop.
But I can’t help it that I feel like doing it more than a lot.

All this pain has been so hard to bare.
And not a living soul would dare to say they care.
So sad how life has treated me so wrong these days.
I get my hopes up, only for nothing to change.

No one needs to worry, hopefully one day I will recover.
Keep living your lives people I don’t want to be a bother.
For now I will sit around and stare at these scars.
Because one day I will be al right and I’ll reach out to the stars.