Changes

From the newly dignified slice,
The crimson blood has begun to seep,
Where the sharpness of the blade,
Has cut my skin so deep;

At one time these eyes use to twinkle,
Like a shining star of the night,
But now they are shadowed,
Clouded with my pain and fright;

These lips used to smile,
Ones that were actually true,
But I haven’t even faked a smile,
Since the last time that I saw you;

So good I have come to be,
At lying about how I’m really feeling,
Though most tell me it’s natural,
That it’s just my way of dealing;

I find all sorts of ways to cover up,
Things that I’ll never be able to confess,
I wonder how things got this way,
How my life became an undying stress;

It’s impossible to read me,
Because of the mask that I wear,
I won’t tell you how I’m feeling,
I’m not the type to share;

I might just nod my head and agree,
With whatever it is that you say,
Because I never really hear you,
Though I never really may;

Inside the walls of my home,
No one knows what’s really going on,
What it is that happens there,
What it is that I’ve done;

I miss your tender kiss,
And how much love we had,
But when I think of what you did,
I get really mad;

Then everything gets reversed,
And I seep into depression,
Where I find my blade,
And have another session;

I’ll wrap my arms around myself,
To keep myself warm,
I’m always so freezing cold,
After my self-harm;

Is this how I’ll be forever,
And will my life always be this way,
Maybe things will change,
Someday…