Our Pain-Your Fun

Daddy I promised myself
I would never be like you
Because I hate it so much
The things that you do
You're pulling me under
And I know you don't care
You don't even see it
You're so unfair
What about us?
And the things that we feel?
Sometimes I wonder
Will this pain ever heal?
I prayed for you
For so many years
I cried all the time
Now I'm all out of tears
I still had some hope
Almost all of my life
Then I gave up
And turned to the knife
I stole your cigarettes
And tried them out
They make you feel lighter
Without a doubt
But are we so bad
That you have to drink and smoke your pain away?
Well now I'm just like you
So what can you say?
The pain that comes next though
Is the greatest of all
The guilt that rises
I let myself fall
But what's the use of getting up
When there's nothing to hold you in place
And then when I screw up
Mom you shove it in my face
You just don't understand me
And you never will
There's a place in my heart
That you just can't fill
I'm sorry that I hurt you
And push you away
But there are so many things
I'm afraid to say
I think I learned this from you dad
I wish you would quit
I'm sick and tired
Of all this sh**
I've blamed it on you
But now I feel it's my fault
Even though you should be better
You're the adult
I can't change you
Nothing will
I can only hate you
And love you still
But please it's time to wake up
And see what you've done
Is all of our pain
Worth all of your fun?