My Demon(My Story)

For the many days i sat in pain,
compass in hand and mascara leaking,
a river of fake tan left behind,
a puddle of blood is all that you'll find.

i was never one to admit defeat,
but you managed to conquer me,
i buckled under the strain,
the burden and the stress,
i was crippled from the pain.

i confided in those i thought would help,
the ones that have references,
people who i looked up to,
the ones who aren't meant to bend the truth.

i had to pay for what i had done,
i even punished myself,
wounds left open and scars that bleed,
but the burning inside it never left.

i continued for months,
my mouth firmly shut ,
i made the mistake of telling,
once was enough.

i continued with life,
or what it had been,
the bruises that i had,
were an accident it seemed.

day by day the strain took its toll,
my broken arm, along with my broken soul,
the lies i told to so many friends,
the few they did believe

i was hurting so badly,
as everyone could see,
but all were too afraid
no one spoke up, it was just swept under their feet.

i was never freed,
the torment it clung to me,
even after i ran away,
i could never run away from the pain.

the scars, a picture created,
the stories they told,
the many nights i lay on the ground,
unable to move crippled by the abuse.

to those who never understood,
i could never help,
my thoughts always swirling,
they never left.

to this day,
i stand alone,
a broken child a broken soul,
on my own my head does fall,
the torment has never left,
i don't think it ever will.

© Copyright J.A.