The after affect

I am a after thought
i sit on the sidelines
I'm dying to step out
but every time i do it seems like,
theres no one who would listen to me.

at times this stagnant effort,
has made me feel.....
unaccomplished,
reclusive.
there have been occasions where i thought,
that it was all hopeless.

very rarely, i have found hope in peace
but on those rare times theres always a set back
I'm so sick of the brick walls that keep forming,
right in front of my path.

i just want, for once, to be able to see the road ahead.
to have a clear vision of my goal in life.
to be motivated like never before.
i want a fire in me, i just don't know how to start it.

for once, i don't want to endure the after affect,
the mistakes and screw ups,
that everyone i know hands down to me.
why do i have to except all these problems?

why can't i just say no, and move on?

i want to succeed.