Ignorance Is.

I hate to have to say this
But I really have no choice
I wish that things were different
I miss hearing your voice

But I've given up of wishing
For I've learnt dreams don't come true
Nightmares are the norm
Mostly consisting of you

Cos I wake up and you're not there
You're not even close
And I've gathered you don't care
Or think about me anymore

Not that there'd be any point
But the logics not quite working
My head, it never ruled my heart
So repeatedly tried to break it

This isn't here to blame you
But I still need you to know
That these words I have written here
They're not just for show

I'm reversing back to type
Every time I talk to you
Yes I know it's my fault
But that doesn't help me through

I don't trust my feelings
My instincts, wants or needs
For I'm not quite held together
Not yet fully healed

And every time I remember
I go back two more steps
I miss ever thing I ever lost
Forgot and never had

So I'm sorry I have to say this
I really thought I was doing fine
But I found out just how wrong I was
And I don't want to cross that line

Seeing you was murder
All I wanted to do was scream
I tried everything to block you out
But nothing there was helping

I dread that when I post this
I'll give up the inch that's left
But you see I just can't quit you
If you're only just... 'there'

I can't IM you and not want to text.
I can't see you and not want... it to be back, what I'm not allowed.
It's like I'm going backwards and I don't want too anymore baby, I can't.