You Deserve

by Kaylee   Mar 16, 2006


I know you deserve more than I could ever give;

An answer straight from the heart. Not coated in doubt.

Happiness without there being an illusion of hope;

A smile that does not flicker like a dying candle flame.

Love without the touch of misery still clinging on.

A haze of broken conversations;

Tainted words you do not need to hear.

Touch without the boundaries of our reality;

Something I long for but do not know if I could try.

Standing at the crossroad with no clear direction.

Knowing that what you need,

may not be something I can give.

In my heart, I know what it is that I really want.

It's the shadows in my mind which will not let up.

*When a friend of mine told me last night I had to decide where me and him were going*

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Mm, its good, its not as emotional as it could be but it was still good.
    xxxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Daze

    This poem was a good one, i love the way it was different in the style. I like it because I can realte to it, it was very good, but poetry wise, even though, it was a poem that was meant to have thoughts poured into it, maybe the flow could be better, in a way that you brought more emotion to it, don't change the poem, but maybe make some phrases standd out more but putting them on a separate line, and try adding punctuation, that reaaly helps when you want people to sense the emotion of your poem. overall, great job

  • 18 years ago

    by Sole

    Another awesome poem :) I'm running out of things to say and I'm goign to start getting cheesey in a minute :) I agree with Silver - you've managed to do something I've been rying to do for a long time there :)

    Peace. [Sole]

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    An interesting write, I think on some level you may have cracked the "uncliche love poem" challenge by the way you wrote this. You included many contrasts which although slightly confused me, made sense. Overall good job.
    Keep writing.

  • 18 years ago

    by Sondos

    I really liked this Kaylee Rose really lovely chose of words here well done!
    Sondos