The first line is nigh on perfect but the Darkness line needs work to make it bounce and flow in the a b a b manner that you achieved for the Wheel line.
I like where it is going, but yes you do need to work on the flow.
I look forward to seeing what you do with it.
15 years ago
by Tara Kay
I thought this was really good, it was capturing from the start and once you have worked on it more and added to it, i am sure it will be absolutely awesome.
I liked the set-up and flow.