Thoughts at 3 am

It's 3 am and I still can't sleep
Just fighting back the tears
This heart of mines been cut too deep
The pain, suppressed for years

It's 3 am and I'm still high
From time spent with her tonight
That spark in those blue eyes don't lie
She made damn near everything alright

It's 3 am and I'm still in pain
My brothers suicide so wrong
The thought of it's just so insane
Fifteen years of life's not long

It's 3 am and I've still got hope
That she loves me just the same
Even with the guns, the fights, the coke
And with out fortune and fame

It's 3 am and I'm still cold
Lost in shadows scarlet red
The blood that coats these walls is old
And the soul long since then dead

It's 4 am and I'm still in love
All the strife and heartbreaks lost
As I lay with her there's stars above
Reflecting light up off the frost

*sry for the jump back and forth but I had to very strong contrasting emotions going on, bear with me..*