The Urge

Just thinking about it
almost brings me to tears
the thought of it
brings back all the memories
& all of my fears
things I wish I could put away
& be done with
if only for a moment
if only for today
without it my emotions rip me apart
& I can't stop my racing heart
as I lose all control
I no longer feel sane
my mind can\'t get around it
this sick little game
the voices urge me on
& I can\'t help but give in
as I roll up my sleeve
the blade meets my skin
& with one last breath
I whisper quietly
"dig in my friend."