The Ending Of My Poor Daddy's Life

by ShhhhItsASecret©   Jul 17, 2006


With pains stabbing in his chest,
He decided to go to the doctor.
They had to give him a test,
But in the end it was all a blur.

When the tests were done,
And the results displayed,
My daddy's ending had just begun.
His conditions were only to cascade.

Each and every single day,
Pain consumed my poor daddy.
To God, I would pray,
That my daddy would stay with me.

But God said no,
He had to take him away.
It was Dad's time to go.
He could no longer stay.

© 2006 Brandy Dorr

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  • 17 years ago

    by sчиτнєτι¢__x.

    Very sad poem, hope it's not true though. The emotions were conveyed so well in this. It was stunning. A great piece indeed. Keep it up! 5/5

    Natalie``

  • 17 years ago

    by Jackie Marie

    That is really sad. Yet again, I hope that isn't true. If so, I am sorry. You are a great writer...Keep it up.

    This poem..I don't even know what to say about it; other than it is really good. Sorry I couldn't leave a good comment but I just don;t know what to say about it.

    >black&&blue

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Hmm this was a sad write. I'm sorry if it's a true write, and I hope writing about it has helped. I think you told a good and as I've already said, a sad story.
    I have to be honest now and say I found the rhyming to be a tad forced, therefore it could have been written better in my opinion.
    My favourite part was the first stanza it gave a strong and fluent start to the poems story.
    I wasn't too keen on the last stanza, for me the flow was lacking due to the lines been overall shorter.
    A decent and touching write. Thanks for sharing.

  • 17 years ago

    by Melissa S. Masucci

    I felt it ended kind of abruptly. But considering death is kind of abrupt, perhaps that's fitting. Good job.

  • 17 years ago

    by kkly

    Aww...im so sorry to hear thatt :S
    Its well write but its a bit sad,,,I wouldnt know your pain,but i know that its hard to go throught...
    Keep your heads up,and neven give up
    Ur the best,u know it so :)

    Cheer :)
    Peace
    Kly

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