She's Leaving Tuesday.

by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG   Sep 25, 2006


-She's Leaving Tuesday.-

There's a dozen roses on the table,
With a card that was never read,
And in the blood draped on the pedals,
There's a story she never said.

The curtains in the bedroom are drawn,
Allowing the sun to shine through,
And in a bucket of ice on the side,
There's a bottle of champagne she never shared with you.

Her bags are packed and are waiting by the door,
As the taxi driver honks his horn out on the street,
She grabs her coat and shudders good-bye to your memories on the wall,
Finally shutting out all of your lies coated in deceit.

The hotel sign will glow with no vacancy for a night or two,
And in room twenty-one there sits a girl coughing in the nicotine haze,
Tears falling in remembrance of all the pain,
But her Greyhound bus bound to nowhere leaves this Tuesday.

© Jenna Elphick
September 24, 2006.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Becca

    This was very beautiful. I felt the emotion in every line. I loved the details and choice of words.

  • 17 years ago

    by Whitey

    Wow, agn a very good poem, agn images are very distinct, feelz like as a responder, i am a a helpless bystander, i esp like the first two lines of the third stanza,

    Her bags are packed and are waiting by the door,
    As the taxi driver honks his horn out on the street,

    this i feel, prolongs the sense of empathy for the persona, very well done, keep it up, cheers

    'Whitey...

  • 17 years ago

    by sibyllene

    I think there are some details in here that really add dimension to the poem - like the vacancy sign at the hotel. you said something without saying it obviously. woo! i also liked the whole repetition of things that were lacking. a card never read, a story never said....

    about the flow and rhythm - you started out in the first stanza with a specific count, but that was broken in the last line of the second stz. and for the rest of the poem. if you wanted to keep the same amount of syllables, there are some words in lines that you could take out to shorten them, but still keep the meaning. (ex. you could take out "there's a bottle of" and just leave "champagne she never shared with you," and i think it would still make sense.)

    i hope this helped!

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