I am Jealous

This is good it has a different flow and taste i like it ...

Aww! This is so sweet! Again your words have had an affect on me. I love the way you refer your jealousy to the simplist things in life. keep up the wonderful work Goran! 5/5

Love
Letty

Adorable write. I like the apporach you took in writing it; it's very unique. The short lines work well flow-wise, but there are still a few choppy spots...A few lines might be better off if you added a few more short words to them-Just my opinion...Good read---5/5

Uh, Again I feel your wording have been cut short. You must visualize the concept quite well. You have the track but not the detaisl of your vision in this poem and I feel somewhere the flow got busted in the following lines

As you spend hours to stare at.
Why don't you
Consider me as that moon
Just once
gaze at my eyes too

It was a very abrupt end and also, lipstick, mobile and suddenly the moon? Spoils the flow.

Aww this is a beautiful love poem, but sad too. you did a really great job on it. it flowed so nicely together. 5/5

~Kristina