Ravish [Regrets]

I count the seconds by your breath and sit back as our bodies move into the dark,
You kiss me still and I know I'll let you, you know it too and that is why you're here.
It doesn't feel like me who touches you once more in the ways you've become accustomed to,
Perhaps that should scare me more than it does but your passion overrides my fear.

I cannot bring myself to understand why I let you do the things you do every time,
The routine has become a habit, a place that neither of us know how to escape.
We'll intertwine and I'll let my mind lose all sense, just one last time,
One last time regardless, I'll use my fingertips to trace out your face shape.

That can't be me I see, locking fingers with the enemy and playing in depths unknown,
I have always prided myself on being safe and I've refused to play with fire.
If I hesitate a second he will say those faithful words that have yet to let him down,
I'll force myself into belief and wait until the next day before I'll call myself a liar.

There again, I see him making advances I did not know he was capable of,
Convince myself that he is indeed no different, but this person I fear I do not know.
Even when I struggle against his weight and cry into his shoulder he does not respond,
And if I am to deny him access to the things he wants, I will always be too slow.