Underneath her skin

by e LIZ a beth   Jan 25, 2007


I can see a girl
she's staring back at me
with a smile on her face
she looks real happy

but i can tell she's dying
inside she's torn apart
and its not just the feeling
you get from a broken heart

its the feeling that comes
from a life filled with hurt
slowly it breaks her down
shes becoming less alert

and when i look at this girl
i see what you cant see
scraps and bruises on her soul
the truth, shes unhappy

i wish that i could tell her
it will be better someday
that its not worth the tears
but she wont listen to what i say

you'll ask me how i know this
and if you were here you'd see
that I'm looking into the mirror
and the girl i see is me.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Jenni

    I still enjoyed this poem after reading it a second time. You did a wonderful job at leading the audience on to figure out who this girl was. 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    I'll start with my honesty, although that ending is a twist and a good one too, it's been used too many times. As I got to the next to final stanza I was predicting the ending, and I was unfortunatly right, sorry.
    What was good though, was the use of emotion in this. Reading it I could feel every word, it actually made me feel a little bit down (and I'm normally a happy person lol).
    It could maybe do with a few more creative words to spice it up a little, try a thesaurus, it's a great tool.
    The flow was constant and enabled me to read fluently and let me really get into the poem.
    Thanks for sharing.

  • 14 years ago

    by BeautifulDisaster

    This one is amazing... i love it, there are so many girls out there that just put on a fake smile. it tells alot. 10*5

  • 14 years ago

    by Lauren Waszkiewicz

    Ooo Ooo Eee Eee! i'm a crazy monkey!

    (lol)

    i had a poem with the same title. o.o

    To be totally honest i do not believe this poem should be a 5.
    the rhyming was forced and offbeat at many points. it didn't flow smoothly, and the rhyming was not adult. happy and see. they don't rhyme the way you put them. it has potential though, don't get me wrong. but it wasn';t written as well as it could have been,

    xzLaurenz

  • 14 years ago

    by Allisha Fox

    I feel that way sometimes. Its a really good poem.