Before a stupid trip
^ I think you should use a different word other than "stupid" it would make people take your poetry more seriously.
when you lost a limb
^ This didn't really make very much sense to me in the context of the stanza. But maybe other people get it.
Love it man
^ Again, I think you should use a different word other than "man" because it sounds like you are using slang.
This was a good poem, I liked the repitition in it yet I felt the rhymes let you down a little. When reading the poem I felt that the rhymes were just used for the sake of rhyming and that they didn't really make that much sense in context to the poem. Still, I liked the subject and the way you displayed it. Nice job 4/5
Hmm. I decided after all the "debate" you posted on your thread, and your pride of your poems, I decided to check some out.
First off, I'd like to say this poems pretty good. But what is up with the parallel structure? Lately, that's all I really see. I'm not saying I don't like parallel structure, but it is a bunch. The repitition though, happens to sound nice. I like it. But, I don't like the lack of details. It's just not reaching its full depth or length, depnding on how you want to say it.
I didn't really like the repetition(sp?). It didn't give the poem as much depth as it could have acheived. I love the message but it's just too vague. I don't know anything about the accident(if that's what happened). I just don't like the lack of details.