Just a part of me

Here I go,
Pulling apart the threads
Of the big thick quilt, I have enveloped myself in

I buried my sadness long ago
I still experience it
Although few know
The closest people to me
Know how I have suffered
Although like an old fire, my pain I have smothered

There's a flood building beneath my eyes
I do not like people to see me cry
I consider it a weakness
So I push the tears aside
I wear a smile
Behind that smile I hide my anger

I'm angry at my family, were falling apart
Angry at the world for tearing at my heart
Angry at the blade that once tore at my skin
Angry at the jerk who hit Kendal with a car, (a friend)
Seeing her on the road screaming in fear
broke my heart
Angry at the same guy who pulled a knife on my boyfriend, I love him so much,
I don't know what'd I'd do without him
Angry at myself for not preventing it all,
Standing back letting others take the fall

I'm scared not for myself but those trying to protect me
Scared of my friends getting hurt
Scared of where this might all end
Scared of being exposed
Scared of every I care about leaving,
leaving me all alone

My anger bubbles
The tears hide
For years I have pushed the pain aside
However soon I will have to come out of hiding
To face it

Anger dies
Pain fades
Tears easily brush away
But memories are forever