Spring time blues

by Espoirfailed   May 17, 2007


Spring time blues

Remember last spring,
On the beach running slow,
like an old Baywatch episode,
thinking one day we'd grow
up.
But it was never the right time...

The trees grew coats
and lost them again all too soon.
Now I'm drinking neat shots
And looking at old photographs in my room.

Photos damaged by the flame of time,
And each silver droplet lines my eye,
Falling hard, but not half as hard,
As you dropped me...

The seasons run in circles,
Circles drawn with a blunt compass,
Who lost its sense of humour,
When a kid in maths dropped it hard,
But not half as hard as you dropped me...

The light shines through my curtain,
To make sure that I'm certain,
That a year has run its course,
Oh but needless to say I'm sure.

Because those pretty little bluebells,
Ring the spring time blues,
And last year you bought me a bunch,
Now they just remind me of you...

Spring came so easily,
And now this quarter's charred,
But I dropped that vase hard,
But not half as hard as you dropped me...

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Mo

    I really liked this poem. The only thing I could say is that the structure was different in nearly every stanza and wasn't sure if you were repeating the title at the end of each stanza or just on some of them... BUT it read well and if you dont change it, it will still read well!! Its a great little piece of memory on paper - so sometimes its nice not to have organised structure with those poems.

    :) Take care

    Mo

    xx

  • 16 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    Wow, I loved the language that you used in this poem. Your descriptions were awesome and you protrayed your emotions on a mature level; not skipping around from place to place with every new stanza. The content of this poem was amazing as well and I am sure that a lot of young girls and boys can relate to this.

    The flow was a little off on some parts but it wasn't a problem too serious that it nagged at my head while I read through the rest, I was able to stay focussed on what you were writing.

    I loved the figurative language that you used in this poem as well with the phrases "..../but not as hard as you dropped me" I LOVED those lines, they really stuck out.

    Anyways, this is getting longer than I meant for it to be, haha. Good job Darling. I really enjoyed reading this one. =]

    5.5
    <3

  • 16 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Oo, I liked this. I like how the final stanza had some repetition in it to a previous stanza. The emotion was somewhat bitter, and I liked how clearly that was conveyed, yet not in a straight-to-the-point kind of way.

  • 16 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    It was really chilling and cool..and i would like to help you to make it perfect

    And the trees grew coats:If you take the 'and' out here,it would be really good

    Other than that,
    Really liked it
    Keep it up espi
    Take care
    Laura

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