See you on the other side

by Independence Forever   Aug 16, 2007


A shot in the dark, a body falls
no more life, deaths voice calls

"see you on the other side" says the sniper
all the dead, almost time to pay the piper

the dead await on that far shore
in hell he'll pay his lifelong score

with every shot, with every single kill
the screaming intensifies, so very shrill

death comes, not long in the future time
"time to make the fight." his life's rhyme

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Michelle18

    Wow..intense..i like it...flowed nicely.

    5/5 from me =]

  • 16 years ago

    by Cory Mastrandrea

    It was slightly ambiguous. And by slightly I mean it didn;t pull enough feeling from me because truthfully I didn't know enough about the character, or what the author was trying to point at, to really connect. Maybe if you cemeted down that one thing with a noun or what word you choose that would really connect your audience with your idea, then you could get more out of this.

  • 16 years ago

    by Andrew Morton

    Wow..i dont know how you can be so metaphorical in your writing without it being too overbearing...thats amazing work again, wow

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