I'm Dead

by Michelle18   Aug 23, 2007


Staring around the room,
Wondering what I've done.
Looking at my hand,
Holding a loaded gun.

People are screaming,
Some are crying.
On this night,
I feel like dying.

I didnt mean to shoot him,
I swear it was a mistake.
But I let my temper get the best of me,
God I just wish this was fake.

The police surround me,
I'm too shocked to drop the gun.
I look at them,then look down,
And turn around and run.

Guns start firing,
A bullet gets me in the head.
One more shot,
And BANG! I'm dead.

.............................

i actually kinda think this is funny..hmm..i dont know.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by FlawlesslyTarnished

    This was an interesting piece. The beginning was so. .alluring. and it hooked me right away. The ending was good too, but and it got kinda funny, yeah. But still, this piece was. .intense. :] 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by JEFF

    I dont concider this sad, more like twisted but there's no catagory for twisted. lol.
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    Thats sooo intense... it sounds like something out of a movie, curious though how did you mange to get into the mood to write this... it sounds sooo real, did you kill someone... jk lol

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Quite a simple piece here. I liked the situation you placed yourself in. Imagery was great you created such an intense feeling within the atmosphere of this poem. The flow was smoothe and quite chant like. Yeah some parts of this seem quite amusing your right with that but not a bad piece overall. Well done. ~Mel

  • 16 years ago

    by Veamm

    It rhymes so well, the flow, the thoughts, the start and the end was great..uhm im just giving my view..use some deep words and more emotional..and one more thing you really grab my attention and that makes yoy so talented..its true honestly^^

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