Last to Know

I sat staring at our bed stand last night,
Praying that the phone would ring,
But two hours and bottle of rum,
Got me nowhere but a lost state of mind.
A business call took you out of town,
"An emergency conference meeting"
Is all you said as you ran out the door,
But in three nights, I haven`t heard a word,
So I lay praying tonight that you won`t call;
Because on this bus full of strangers,
I just might be the strangest one,
And if I heard your voice now,
There`s no telling what might happen.
Tears crystallize on my reddened cheeks,
As I sit drowning in angst on an old bus seat,
And an anonymous face tells me to grow up,
Because one lost love won`t matter in the end.
But who is he to say what is right or wrong,
When I can see it set into his dulling eyes,
That he is running away from one fight gone wrong.
A man of so much mystery, is sparing words,
And I know this trick a little too well now,
`Cuz, correct me if I`m wrong, but I don`t think I am,
Isn`t this the exact trick you used when we met?
In my mind, I ran over ways to tell you nicely,
That I wasn`t that kind of girl,
The ones who let you into their pants right away,
But make you work for it instead.
How hypocritical that would be, given the outcome;
But you know girls like me, we find it comforting,
Dying in a strangers arms at night,
And we have no problems at all making you drown,
In all the misery that we cause.
But Baby, call me a cynic because jealousy is my middle name,
And I just shot our chances straight to Hell,
I`ll get off this bus with my mind focussed on you,
But in an old dirty motel bed,
I`ll get over you in one shot,
And you may be the first to sense it,
But you`ll be the last to know.

-Jenna Elphick
October 2, 2007