Falling apart

I've been lying to myself
and everyone around me,
I've been telling them nothings wrong
just so they would let me be,
deep inside I'm falling apart
but I hide it very well,
behind a smile and a laugh
they could never tell,
I don't want them to know
that my life is falling apart,
because the only one I ever loved
decided to break my heart,
I tell them I moved on
and that I don't care,
I walk past him in the hall
and act like love was never there,
I often wish we were still together
and that I could see him everyday,
I wish we could still do things together
like watch the sunset at the bay,
I wish so many things
but know they will never come true,
because most of the things I wish,
I'm too afraid to do.