Learning to Control

This poem reminded me of black out anger. Or like a monster is part of u.. Like a werewolf or something. This poem is really dark and i really liked it.

Man. This poem was dense, my style of poetry :P i really enjoyed what you did here..

My head is swirling,
My eyes are dimming,
My breathing is ragged.
I know what is coming...
^^ These were very great, strong opening lines they really drag the reader in..

Fight against it and win,
I can't win!
My eyes are open,
Yet i see nothing.
My mind has stop dancing,
Yet i have no control.
My body has now become
A shell with me inside,
And all the evil has become
The casing..
^^These lines showed alot of feelings & confusion.. Very well worded.. & great flow.

Minutes later or maybe hours,
I break through the shell
And what i see...
What I see,
Was the destruction
Of my evil soul.
^^This verse was also very strong & emotional.. I LOVE IT. I wudnt change a word.

My class has perished.
I see limps spread out,
And the room is a,
Pool of all their blood.
^^ This has a few doubts on me tho..
Limps.. Limbs?
& i think You should have..
**And the room,
Is a pool of all their blood.'**
Just my thorts anyway.

I've seen this before.
So i know what to do
Leave now and run far,
Forget this event,
And learn to control.
^^ Very good ending lines. Perfect finish.

excellent is my final word.

*Hunny*

Wow..that was amazing! It was very powerful. i dont know why but it kept reminding me of the book Twilight....but either way it was very good.

Great Job!!

I liked it. it was very powerful and emotive. great job!

It's been a while wow I like it I mean ashleigh is right it is really gruesome and perhaps a little grotesque but that is sorta what kind of poems you do best. Not meant to be offensive at all. Again I like it very well written a good piece.. Bravo Keenan ttyl

p.s. miss talkin to you..Beck