I've recently realized that I have changed enormously in the past few years...
Four years ago, I was quiet.. empty.. and suicidal. I claimed that I was bi, because I wanted to be able to pretend to be straight when I was around certain people.
Two years ago, I was a devout Christian... struggling with an SI(Self Injury) addiction. I claimed I was bi only to people I could absolutely trust... but I swore I was trying to overcome my attraction to women, because I believed that homosexuality was wrong, while secretly dating a girl that claimed she loved me BECAUSE she claimed she loved me, even though she treated me horribly.
Today, I do well enough to believe in even a Creator on a good day.. I am no longer suicidal, and I have beaten my SI addiction. I am a lesbian, and have no problem admitting that.
There are some things that have never changed about me though... I am a writer. I am a singer, and an artist. And I hope to one day be a teacher.
I can't let go of the light amidst the darkness...
without it the candle burns out..
the darkness takes over..
and my life ends.
14 years ago
The extreme source of emptiness
That ever lies inside
Strengthened in longevity
As the hours slowly pass by.
But soon it evaporates--
With the addition of a new friend;
the creation of a new love,
And a sorrow at the end.