Once had, but now lost again in a river of darkness

Someone tell me, how to save my own life.. No one else seems to care.

I tried so hard to be the best that I could be, but I guess it's still not good enough for you.

I am not better than 'that'. I am 'that'.

I stopped eating, then everyone had to do what I said.

I want to kill myself. If I succeed then I'll be at peace, if I fail at least someone might get me the help I'm too scared to ask for.

The nightmares come
I feel so alone in my bed
I want the dreams to come true
Because then I'd be dead.

Now I know why they call it a crush,
because someone always gets
CRUSHED...

Wen ur lil ppl tel u bout santa claus th eastr buny n encourage u n ur imaginry frends
its all a lie its all pretend
as u gro up they tel u bout th light at th end of a tunel things getn beta n it all workin out in th end
its all a lie its all pretend

I close my eyes at night and dream it will be alright;
But as soon as I awake I know it was all just a lie.