- as I crush your hopes and dreams to dust;
Very good used of the word 'dust' - I actually visualise the person's hope and dreams turning into dust.
It's simple: love is not for me.
It is not safe to stay.
- AND -
What once might seem a fantasy
will end as a nightmare.
^ I like how these two lines are quite similar. People tend to dream about love being easy but gets disappointed by how different it is compared to what they thought and thus it becomes a nightmare.
- Despite the angel on the surface,
the Devil's in my blood.
^ Good contrast between the two lines.
What I like most about this is the honesty. Like, you're not trying to lead anyone on the way too many people do. you may just care enough to warn the person about yourself. And I agree with Ben, that is something commendable. I do love when you write!
Wow. This is very, very dark and your portrayal of yourself. Love the imagery, metaphors, the description and the rhythm and rhyme. They are all perfect.
A fab write (hugs)
1 year ago
by Ben Pickard
A rather miserable portrayal of yourself here but one I can relate to, somewhat.
We can be all kinds of miserable things in life from selfish and immature to darker and more dangerous persuasions, but if we at least have the heart to stand up, hold our hands in the air and warn others, then at least there is something commendable in that.
A sad and moving write. All the very best,