A Twisted Tryst

by IdTakeABulletForYou   Jun 21, 2016

The moment I have my doubts, I lose;
I honestly have my doubts with you.
Does that mean there isn't any hope for us?

I swallow my fears and go into the den
but I know as I go you won't follow me, then...
I just keep walking on as the doors continue closing.

There's not much light when I have my doubts
-and I know it's you I should be without,
but I'm still in shock that you've left me behind.

Every ounce of my soul wants an end to this tryst
and I carry on still, knowing I will be missed.
No, not you; just the "me" I am when you're around.

I could say I can see, but I know it's a lie:
I'm as blind as I was at the start of my life.
I'm just stumbling fearfully, knowing my next step is death.

I arrest every hope that I had for our love,
every dream that fell softly from the sky above...
and accept that: in darkness is where I now exist.

In a moment, I'll plunge down the cliff I can't see
and the truth is: I know everyone forgets me...
but I knew you were scared of the truth from the first line you read.



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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by mossgirl19

    Oh, love, just where it takes us. This was a beautiful write, and yes, don't jump off the cliff. Oh, a figurative death, as you say. :-)

  • 2 years ago

    by Vicente

    As always you know I love your poems. Even when I don't like the mood they set, or the way you tie in a dark element of demise. I cam hear your voice right now telling me that it kinda sounds like something I'd write about you from my point of view.

    Not everybody will forget you. I never have and I never will. You know I'd either pull you back from that cliff's edge or jump with you if you asked.

    • 2 years ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Cause you cray! Thanks for reading, and commenting, even though I told you it was an allegory and the mention of death isn't a literal death but a figurative one! Tsk tsk.


  • 2 years ago

    by Brenda

    This is so sad-I don't know your circumstances but I can tell you have a lot of pain and possibly this relationship is a big part of it. It's so hard to be in a bad relationship-part of you know it's no good but the other part of you just wants to hold on even if it's destroying you. Stay strong and true to yourself, you really deserve that! Take care-Brenda

    • 2 years ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Thank you very much for checking this piece out :-) There's is so much pain in the world, happiness is not about running from it or being without it, but learning to endure it and be happy nonetheless. While I tried to make the poem "literally" seem to be about a relationship, this poem is "allegorically" about a love tryst with the person I am and the person I want to be. Loving myself and hating myself at the same time, always at odds with who society tells me to be and how they treat me when I follow suit.

      It is a never-ending struggle, it seems, but perhaps one day I will persevere.

      Thank you for checking out my poem and taking the time to comment :-)


  • 2 years ago

    by Em

    S, this is a very powerful piece with a deep meaning to you especially with what you told me. It reduced me to tears actually because so many of us are treated so poorly. We can't be too skinny, too fat, too ugly, too beautiful etc without being judged, I live for the day when we all live in harmony. Yeah, I know I'll never see it well none of us will because it's only going to get worse.

    Your poetry is always so enthralling and has many meanings that are usually so relatable that they are unreal. Though I know the meaning of this piece I don't want to give the game away.. Nominated.

    Much love, Em

    • 2 years ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      It definitely was a rough weekend, but sometimes the most difficult times are the most inspiring.

      I reread this poem and I realize that it is not aesthetically perfect and nor am I, perhaps that's why I love it so much. Like me, this poem has a lot of depth and many layers, and can be perceived in different ways -- some right, some wrong. I think that's the beauty of this, is that it can be what you want it to be but all it will ever be is what it is.

      Glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for the nomination. You rock!

      Much love,

  • 2 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    I think your correct :( i can not find a nominations thing anywhere! I may need Em to help. she has gold!

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