Tears in my Cookie dough

by Milly Hayward   Oct 8, 2016


Tears in my cookie dough
makes salt rivers flow
and ruins all hopes
for a nicely baked row

I've failed in my mission
for sweet toothed nutrition
You're the cause of my woes
since your recent admission

When you left me for Jane
threw our love down the drain
You chased after your dreams
and left me shocked and in pain

Stranded lost on the roadside
with just my crumbling pride
a failed composition
of dough misapplied

(Inspired by a poetry challenge from Maple Tree)

8


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by BlueJay

    Judging Comment:

    This piece is very interestingly put together. The rhymes feel a little unnatural at times, but personally it feels like that adds to the writing's unique pull. The style is common, but even that seems to make this all the more interesting. The author's voice shines here and the lacking punctuation really does add a feel like chunks of chocolate or nuts in the cookie dough - so that was a cool touch.

  • 1 year ago

    by Meena Krish

    Interesting and very well crafted too! Its the cookie dough that caught my attention and it was worth the read :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Kaimeyo

    I liked this one so much

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Milly, what a beautiful sad write. Your rhymes were spot on and the story you tell flows just right. I can just see you trying to make cookies and crying away-darn men! Well done-Brenda

    • 1 year ago

      by Milly Hayward

      Thankyou all for reading and leaving such lovely comments. As you know I haven't had much time recently to put my poetic hat on so it means a lot to know ithat it went well. Milly xx

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Milly a fab inspirational poem here as Michael said its significant as the dough will ruin with extra salt from the tears. I like the aaba etc rhyming as I haven't seen that much recently and you executed it well.

    All the best, Em

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