Irony and forgiveness (for Robyn)

by Brenda   Feb 22, 2018


They drip poison
into my veins,
to stop the poison
that's invaded my body...
Now that's irony!
-
My mom
stunned into silence,
shattered by the knowledge,
her baby bird
struggles to fly.
Knowing those warm coastal breezes
aren't reaching
my winter home...
-
I fight with the guilt.
I did so many wrong,
hurt the ones
that love me the most-
killing their dreams
of what could have been.
Kind of like
this cancer,
hell bent on killing me...
Now that's irony!
-
How do you let go?
Rid yourself of the guilt
of a life
that's strewn with casualties.
How do you make peace?
With yourself?
Tipping the scales
back to the give,
not the take...
Just like me,
it's a work in progress...
-
Mama, I love you-
Don't ever forget that.
I'm so sorry
for the pain I've caused.
For all the long nights
you paced about,
worrying where I was.
For the tears you've shed
over the decisions I've made...
I can't change the past.
Those days are long gone-
Each new day now arrives
with fresh amends
that I approach with an open heart
and a clear mind.
I know what I have to do.
This journey's not over-
This disease is kicking my ass
but like that sturdy Maple
who birthed me,
my roots go deep...
Those warm coastal breezes
are not far away...

10


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Latest Comments

  • 2 months ago

    by Meena Krish

    There are no words that can be said or used to describe
    let alone feel what a mother is going through when she sees
    her child dying...the struggles and the pain is beyond words.

    Yet you have captured it from both sides of the coin...beautifully sad
    with a painful reality...

    • 2 months ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much Meena. I have in a very small way tried to understand the pain that mother and child are going through. I don't think any of us, unless we have dealt with this first hand truly knows. As a mother myself this would devastate me. The mere fact Andrea has been able to even function shows what a strong amazing woman she is.

  • 2 months ago

    by C Cattaway

    How beautiful, & touching. I love this as much now as the first time I read it.
    Catherine x

    • 2 months ago

      by Brenda

      Catherine, thank you so much! It really means a lot to me that this has touched you.

  • 3 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Benda,

    your capacity for empathy and love is evident; not only in this wonderful tribute to Robyn and Andrea, but in the support you offer us all.

    Thank you for being you. ((hugs))

    • 3 months ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much Michael for your kind thoughts. Hugs to you!

  • 3 months ago

    by Maple Tree

    Forgive me my friend for not commenting until now, but to be honest it's as if Robyn hersef wrote this....it took me back a bit. This is beautiful and you have captured her soul in this poem.

    Bird is now losing the ability to think clearly so our conversations are minimal...we do a ton of Gigggggles about silly stuff and I'm afraid our time for heart to hearts is over....so for me to read this now just brought me to tears.... I can't thank this Community enough and you for your love and support...hugs you

    • 3 months ago

      by Brenda

      Andrea, never feel as if you have to apologize. I take great comfort in knowing you find some kind of solace and peace in any of my words. I always worry that I may cause you pain in this process and I would never ever want to do this. This journey you and Robyn have been on has been full of so many twists,and turns. My hopes for you two is just to find peace and for Robyn to know she's been forgiven for anything she feels bad about. So giggle with her and just enjoy the time you have left with her. Hugs my friend.

  • 3 months ago

    by Sai

    A wonderful tribute. It never fails to amaze me the ways poetry can touch the human soul.

    • 3 months ago

      by Brenda

      Sai, thank you so much! It is amazing isn't it?

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