So basically this poem almost made me cry. Each word held such power and punch that it truly imacted me. The beginning was great, you started off slow and told a touching story but the ending was the best, how it held hope and promise.
One thing that really shows in this poem is either how dark your personality can be .. OR .. just how much your imagination can really roam. Such a good use of really dark powerful imagery, really captivates the reader.
You seem to have missed a few apostophes in this piece ..
"Wheres she gone? Your little girl."
"Theres (There's) only so much a girl can bare (bear)."
It is a really good deep dark poem, it could do with a little fine tuning though.
Wow, I like this a lot...
Greatly written piece from the beginning to the end, so effective and captivating. Unique and refreshing dark poem, with powerful and haunting imagery. I like the flow of the whole piece and the deeply dark atmosphere that you created.
My favorite stanza is:
-Happiness came, happiness went,
Only now its written to you clear.
An A-B-C structure simple enough?
When sadness drew you went near.-
The ending stanza is also truly powerful.
I think it's good for everybody to have to struggle a few times growing up, maybe have some hard times that change your life. We'll become better people as we grow if we have to endure hardships along the way. Excellent job 5/5 GG23