What if a priest ,in the middle of performing mass,suddenly stopped..raised his arms over his head..and yelled "this is ridiculous"?

Sometimes i wish i were a nicer person but then i laugh and continue my day

Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant, I am just getting more awesome.

Screw soccer.... if I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I'd just take my friends to the bar.

Just unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter.

Expecting a song in about an hour.

If you love something set it free. If it comes back, then you have a stalker.

When Harry Styles and Taylor Swift break up shell write a song called, 'I Went In The Wrong Direction.'

Girls are like Internet Domain names; the ones I like are already taken.

I will ignore you so hard you will start to doubt your own existence.

Dear 11 year old on Facebook with 'It's complicated.' Seriously????? What did he do??? Steal your animal crackers??