Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl's whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.

Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd

As a kid if a boy liked a girl he'd poke her, call her dirty names & pull hair until she cried. Odd, as an adult girls beg guys to do that.

If your bf/gf is mad at you put a cape on them and say, "Now you're super mad!" If they laugh marry them.

Never let someone with the significance of a speed bump become a roadblock in your life.

Unless you're looking to seriously emotionally damage someone, don't ask me for relationship advice or how to dance.

Fcuk you alarm clock, I have dreams!

"Wow, this relationship is really rocky. I bet a wedding and baby will solve everything!" -Idiots.

Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.

"Don't let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father's actual sex talk with me when I was 13.