Flawed Masquerade

This is great:)

Very good poem i felt the emotion with every word.. your such Android amazing writer

Very good poem i felt the emotion with every word.. your such Android amazing writer

"I'm trying to hold it together,
Letting the cold numb flood my veins,
This lack of feeling, my protection,
Against the darkness that reigns"

^^ Such a moving opening, I love the meotion in these opening lines, it really tugs on the heartstrings while simutaneously pulling me into the piece.

However I think it would sound better if you had numb cold, instead of cold numb. Just a suggestion.

"My heart, it's still beating,
Against this crushing ache,
I'm still here existing,
With my smile that's so fake"

^^ I adore this stanza..filled with so much despair and I like how you said exsisting not living, it shows that you're fed up with everything, that you have no hope left, and again the emotion is clearly visible through the written words.

"Another tear slowly forming,
Slipping silently down my cheek,
My mask of strength crumbling,
Revealing that I'm weak"

^^This brought tears to my eyes...so many people think that crying makes them weak and you portray that well within these few lines here.

"Just like the last time, I'm falling,
But trying once again to stand,
Slipping when I try to make it on my own,
Yet hesitant to reach out my trembling hand"

^^ I'm finding this to get better and better as I go along, I like this stanza because to me it shows hope mixed with despair and the transistion makes a powerful verse.

"Frightened of reaching out,
And finding only empty air,
Finally admitting I need help,
Then realizing no one's there"

^^Best stanza of the piece. Knowing that you need help but so terrified of not receiving it after you finally admit it is somethingt so many of us can relate to. You really have a way with words.

"And in the same moment, unwilling,
To be a burden to anyone around,
Maybe this time I should just stop trying,
Maybe I should just stay here on the ground."

^^ I love this ending, simply because throughout the piece there's always a little bit of hope, but that hope is no longer present in the closing lines, it shows finally giving up after so long of trying over and over, and makes for a hard hitting ending.

I really enjoyed this piece from you, the emotion and depth was astounding, and I thought the flow was beautiful throughout while the imagery you create throughout paints vivid pictures for your readers.

A very good job of portraying the battle within to ask for help and risk not receiving it, or to remain within oneself possibly finding a cure. nicely done :)