Dear Diary (Entry 1 "Remember")

Dear diary,

The past is gone, but the humiliation still lingers in my mind
I must be true to myself, though the truth is never kind
I know I'll always remember, everything that has gone wrong
I just have to remember the good, remember to be strong.

I take myself back in time, to remember everything
Never knowing what will come, what pain it will bring
Though it is never easy, I know I will overcome
These memories that are throbbing in my mind, beating like a drum.

I bring myself back fifteen years, starting at the age of four
I never would have imagined exactly what he had in store.
I think back on the lonely nights, shedding tears of dread
Or the night he tried to smother me, whilst dreaming in my bed.

I remember the time he pushed right against the wall
The sound of my own tears, as I endured the painful fall
I know I deserved this, stealing his favourite toy
But did I deserve everything he did to diminish simple joys?

I remember mother saying, that kids will be kids
But didn't she see through him, for all his many fibs?
She seemed to blame me, for everything he did
Didn't she realize, that I too, was just a kid?

Though that is all I can remember, at the age of four
There's still some to tell, in my lifetime of war
I fight within myself, a battle of emotional turmoil