Evil Shadows

by Sora   Aug 9, 2008


I hate this place,
And all the faces I see.
Because for some reason,
I can't seem to be me.

I hear nothing,
Just lie after lie.
And every time my heart beats,
It has the desire to cry.

I walk outside,
Birds chirping, sun so bright.
But hidden beneath the leaves,
Is something that reveals no light.

As the wind whistles,
And the clouds appear.
I can't help but think,
What evil shadows are lurking near.

I hear these voices,
Echoing in my head.
Telling me to leave this place,
And enjoy what's ahead.

But for some reason,
My mind's telling me to stay.
But my heart's saying to,
Surrender my fears and walk away.

I always try to follow my heart,
But the pain keeps increasing.
And how am I suppose to follow it,
If it's in a million pieces?

There's nothing more confusing,
Then trying to make the right decision.
Especially when all hope is lost,
And tears are blurring your vision.

But all I want,
Is what's best for me.
So now I think it's time,
That I say my goodbye's and finally leave.

Thank you for reading this. this poem took quite a long time to write, and I felt extremely better after I wrote it. please tell me what you think. thankss.

-Ashlei.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Aish

    Fantastic.

    I especially like the stanza:

    "There's nothing more confusing,
    Then trying to make the right decision.
    Especially when all hope is lost,
    And tears are blurring your vision."

    They have got to be some of the truest and most meaningful wors ive read on this site.

    Very well done lilbit.

    Aish
    xx

    Ps, prob guessed already but another 5/5 :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Prince Jared

    This is really good. I'm glad you're finally satisified with it; usually a poem which the author isn't happy about is generally not a good one. I'll give it a 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Ezzey

    Indeed ,you've got the talent! i really do like your beautiful attractive way in writing ! each line in your poetry has its sense ,everything is well worded !
    There's nothing more confusing,
    Then trying to make the right decision.
    Especially when all hope is lost,
    And tears are blurring your vision.

    this si very true ,and a n amazing poetess such as yourself ,her words directly goes to the core of our hearts !
    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "I hate this place,
    And all the faces I see.
    Because for some reason,
    I can't seem to be me."

    Wonderful opening stanza, that flows well and really gets me into it.

    "I hear nothing,
    Just lie after lie.
    And every time my heart beats,
    It has the desire to cry."

    I love your rhyming choice here, flawless!

    "I walk outside,
    Birds chirping, sun so bright.
    But hidden beneath the leaves,
    Is something that reveals no light."

    I like how you are positive and then you put "but hidden.....", good work.

    "As the wind whistles,
    And the clouds appear.
    I can't help but think,
    What evil shadows are lurking near."

    Very captivating, I was wondering "what's going to happen?".

    "I hear these voices,
    Echoing in my head.
    Telling me to leave this place,
    And enjoy what's ahead."

    This parts cool how voices are warning you, just to "leave now!!".

    "But for some reason,
    My mind's telling me to stay.
    But my heart's saying to,
    Surrender my fears and walk away."

    This brings up the question, will you follow what your mind says, or what your heart says?

    "I always try to follow my heart,
    But the pain keeps increasing.
    And how am I suppose to follow it,
    If it's in a million pieces?"

    Well expressed emotions here, I am so entranced by your words at this point.

    "There's nothing more confusing,
    Then trying to make the right decision.
    Especially when all hope is lost,
    And tears are blurring your vision."

    Very relatable stanza, sometimes it seems impossible to make the right decision, cause you just don't know what to do!

    "But all I want,
    Is what's best for me.
    So now I think it's time,
    That I say my goodbye's and finally leave."

    Good for you! This is a perfect way to end this poem. This whole poem is worthy of praise and there is so much emotion going on all the way in this poem. Keep writing, always and forever....

  • 12 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    I hate this place,
    And all the faces I see.
    Because for some reason,
    I can't seem to be me.
    --i think so many people will be able to relate to the last couple lines : )

    I hear nothing,
    Just lie after lie.
    And every time my heart beats,
    It has the desire to cry.
    --i love the way you used the imagery hear and personification giving the heart emotions

    I walk outside,
    Birds chirping, sun so bright.
    But hidden beneath the leaves,
    Is something that reveals no light.
    --alright now this is mysterious i dont know what your talking about in the last line it helps keep the reader intrigued

    As the wind whistles,
    And the clouds appear.
    I can't help but think,
    What evil shadows are lurking near.
    --evil shadows of what?! is it like sins or people i love the way you let the reader take their own interpretations

    I hear these voices,
    Echoing in my head.
    Telling me to leave this place,
    And enjoy what's ahead.
    --alright some warning the way you word it makes me think that you will not take the advice

    But for some reason,
    My mind's telling me to stay.
    But my heart's saying to,
    Surrender my fears and walk away.
    ---again i love the emotions you give the heart here they make your poem very unique

    I always try to follow my heart,
    But the pain keeps increasing.
    And how am I suppose to follow it,
    If it's in a million pieces?
    --very very good idea with using a question here it keeps the reader involved

    There's nothing more confusing,
    Then trying to make the right decision.
    Especially when all hope is lost,
    And tears are blurring your vision.
    ---ah absolutely loved loved loved the last line!!!!

    all i can say is good job! : ) I nominated your poem for the poetry contest
    good luck! 5/5

    But all I want,
    Is what's best for me.
    So now I think it's time,
    That I say my goodbye's and finally leave.

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