What Am I Doing? {Contest}

Inspiring poem for people it should bring faith and hope to those who read it very well done. I thought there could be more but who am I to say anything great piece Plot121

Hey! Here goes.

First Stanza:

"I walk down this road, in the world of black and white
just hoping that I find my destiny, my chosen path.
This is what I need to do, what I have always dreamed of
because I'm so tired of dealing with the worlds cruel wrath."

- Love the set out, its intriguing, and seems a little dark. "black and white" love the use of these words. The rhyming also, is well done, not boring, fillers, very interesting.

Favourite line: "because I'm so tired of dealing with the worlds cruel wrath."

^ really sums it up.

Second Stanza:

"I know what I am searching for, but I don't know what I'll find
hopefully everything will lead to success in the end.
I'm not alone on this road, there is so many people like me
but all I really need is someone to hold my hand, my best friend."

- Also like this one, easy to understand. I see the hope in this (second line), and it really shows that you are hoping, or wanting something. Third line: maybe change "is" to "are" ??

Favourite line: "hopefully everything will lead to success in the end."

^ enjoyed this line, because it shows the hopefulness in this stanza.

Third Stanza:

"From where I stand, I cannot see anything standing in my way,
but there is bound to be something I have trouble getting past.
"Just take your time through life, don't give up", I tell myself
"just walk, you will end up tripping if you run to fast.""

- Love the use of metaphors in this. Really relates to life which is what I like about it. The rhyming also is really good.

Favourite line: "just walk, you will end up tripping if you run to fast."

^ really liked this one. Leaves a lesson, and shows that you understand it too.

Fourth Stanza:

"I know that at the end of this long and challenging journey
a rainbow at the end, just waiting for me to get there.
If you're ever feeling down and like you're wasting time,
just know that all the struggles will end up being fair."

- Really good way to end this. I loved how it seemed a little dark at first, then BAM! Light at the end of the rainbow. Really ties in well.

Favourite line: "just know that all the struggles will end up being fair."

^ really sums this up, and also the poem. Nothing more needs to be said.

Poem Conclusion:

Really enjoyed the poem. Leaves a nice feeling. Also inspirational too. Loved the rhythm, not too fast or rushing, etc. and the rhyming ties in well also.

Definitely 5/5 and definitely worth voting for.
Well done, keep it up! =]

xx
Nic
xx

Whoa! "I walk down this road, in the world of black and white"

now that is one Kick As* start!!

nice ryme, great imagery, I felt as if i can place myself in the writers view and feel every emotion/feeling.

this is very well written, 5/5

Your very good, alot of people can relate to this one, overall it was perfect your very talented!

Excellent. Absolutly flawless. One thing that I loved about this is that I think everyone has felt this way before. Everyone has felt lonely like they just needed someone there. Thats my favorite quality about it.

I walk down this road, in the world of black and white

^^Oofta that line just sends shivers up your back ehh?? It is so expressive and I can definatley tell you put a heck of alot of work into this....and it absolutly shows!

As usual...it was beautiful with an excellent and easy to read flow. 5/5 Great write there Bree!