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by lost in lovee Sep 11, 2008
Love, romance /
Now you're gone
And I don't know what to do.
I know we fought a lot
But I never thought I'd be without you.
You're everything to me;
Why would you just walk away?
I never did anything to hurt you;
Why would you believe everything people say?
You know I really love you,
So why don't you see everything I've told you is true?
If you love me like you said you do
Then maybe you would of thought everything through.
So now you're gone
No longer mine.
You gave them what they really wanted
Because you are so blind...
This poem is very basic. No real flow, no extensive use of language, no metaphors or play on words. And it's terribly cliched.
I'd say in the future for you to branch out a little more into some wider vocabulary to twist the poem out of cliche and into something unique.
I feel the same way, but don't worry. Not only is he blind, but he's really a coward for not making it through !
by Karl Wild GG23
Definately the hardest part of love, even when we give everything we have 100% if they don't do the same we have no chance. Sometimes I ask myself if the heartache is really worth it....Excellent job again 5/5 GG23
by Beautiful Forever
I love this poem. Very well-written. So much emotion with such a gentle flow. The word choice was good and the concept was touching. 5/5 for sure! Keep it up!