How Eternity Looks Like?

Yet another great piece from you, outstanding poem.

sailing on our dreamboats,
will it embrace the shore?
and if it capsize,
would we discover our own island?

my fav stanza

all the best and take care

"Will the wind carry my voice
across thousand miles?
And, while you sleep,
caressing your ruffled hair,
will it whisper the tale -
of silent promises
stranded outside your door?"

^^ I really like these opening lines, the imagery you portrayed here is beautifully done and creates vivid pictures in my mind while the flow is perfect and hooks me into the piece.

"Will forever end
with 'revolution and rotations'
or demise of last spec in cosmos?
Is it Long enough
to suffice my love ?"

^^I'm finding this piece to become better and better throughout, with each line stronger than the last, and I love the emotion and depth within these lines.

"Moon mocks my lonliness,
sneering along
with his favorite star,
and I wonder,Is
night more darker
or my stooping shadow?

sailing on our dreamboats,
will it embrace the shore?
and if it capsize,
would we discover our own island?"

^^Favourite lines of the piece so far. Powerful, hardhitting, beautiful imagery and so much emotion that's it's almost overwhelming, with each line read I can feel my heart dropping a little more.

"They say love is Eternal.

but,
how Eternity looks like?
Will I ever know? "

^^What a beautiful way to wrap this piece up, bittersweet, moving and touching, really tugs on the reader's heartstrings while the emotion here is incredible.

Beautiful writing.

A really good write from you! I love the questions you asked in this poem, so many of them i have wondered my self sometimes.

Moon mocks my lonliness,
sneering along
with his favorite star,
and I wonder,Is
night more darker
or my stooping shadow?

^^ I dont know what it is about that stanza, but i really like it. It is very creative and i love how you used the moon and his favourite star. Very original.

Great work!
5/5

An interesting write for me. The flow was good, but could of been better I felt. I liked your choice of words and how you portraited such great imagery through out. I didn't like the structure of this poem however, the stanzas where of all different lengths.

First stanza was 7 lines long, second stanza was 5 lines long, third stanza was 6 lines long, etc.

Overall a great write, keep up the great work!

Peace, Joe

I really liked it!! This poem is creative with your chioce of wording adding more depth to the piece =] All of your stanzas are well written and the flow worked very well. Excellent job, this is a very nice piece