Silhouette

If you read this, then read Convergence, you wouldn't know it's from the same writer.

'I find it hard to breathe in silence,
stifled by rainless clouds and
lifeless dust on books never opened,
never read, much like our hearts.
[I'd much rather stagger-breathe
through the sound of tears.]'

'Lifeless dust' was a strange phrase to me because when has dust ever been lively? Unless you were using this to suggest the lack of movement or air surrounding this dust. I think that 'lifeless' could be replaced with a stronger adjective though. 'Stagger-breathe' could have not worked but it did in this case, and it was extremely striking. It's a good opening stanza as it sets a very...still tone.

'I find it hard to cry in silence.
I do not want to hear nothing
but regret; I do not want to blame
no one but myself.
[I'd much rather shed my tears
in misty songs of slumber.]'

This was unfortunately a weaker stanza than the first. 'I do not want to hear nothing' was somewhat clumsy, yet I see what you're trying to say. It's just not coming across so well here. I liked the change of one word though, as other commenters have pointed out.

'I find it hard to sleep in silence
and in darkness, when my dreams are of
liquid sound and light
and whispers of your love.
[I'd much rather slumber amongst lullabies,
away from thoughts like these.]'

Perhaps the strongest stanza, this contained the most powerful wording, and the flow was fantastic here, the only problem I'm having with this poem is the lack of consistency in the imagery. I thought this stanza was expertly written though, so well done on that. I loved how you turned something simple into something far more complex.

'I find it hard to think in silence,
but sometimes, you have to
stop running away, and for once,
face the music.
[But still, I'd much rather
just be with you again,
in blessed silence.] '

I do feel, that the first and third stanzas are strongest. This last one communicates a lot more to the reader, though. It read as a conclusion in it's entirety and it was a well written piece overall.

With some careful revision it could be even better. Good work. :)

Ooh this is my favourite out of the three of yours that I've read today.

I adored the first stanza. The image of 'rainless clouds' and 'lifeless dusts on books never opened' gives off the impression that the persona just wants something to happen; just wants somebody to see his/her heart.

"I find it hard to think in silence,
but sometimes, you have to
stop running away, and for once,
face the music."

^^ This was good because it's very true. Running is never the answer and in order to find what we're looking for, the music is the only thing in our way. Though I loved the second thought in brackets after these lines, showing the persona's true thoughts and the fact they're unsure of them.

Well done.

I absolutley loved loved loved this poem! I really liked the ending of the stanzas, the words in the parenthesis being like a true thought contradicting the penned before. I loved your word choice on this. I liked the idea behind it also. I thought it was very well penned, and the title was perfect for this poem.
Excellently penned.

Ooooo love the ending :-) the flow of the last stanza seemed different than the rest of the poem though.

I absolutely love the way you changed the single word in each first line of the stanza's. It gave this poem more emotion and allowed the reader to feek like they were there witnessing every thought.

"and in darkness, when my dreams are of
liquid sound and light
and whispers of your love."

Beautiful, I absolutely love this part. And finally, I like your idea of using brackets. It added definition and structure which really helped. Overall, 5/5. Lovely job =]

--Hari