A path that must be found

by Finalgravedigger   Oct 31, 2009


A path that must be found

Like the masses traveling a path of dark mystery
Many crave to find the light in their murky history,
Wandering about aimlessly in the shroud of shadows
Trapped without purpose in reality's gloomy meadow.

Loneliness and ruptures of wrenches are expected
When one tumbles down they rise once again as suspected
Their shrieks of yearnings create wills in ambitious souls
Where hope is born out of cries, in pains endless control.

Refining the ground around them with passion learned
Scraping the earth forming a path which has turned and turned
To create a direction which can seen by the eye
Preparing for the strifes and obstacles that always lie.

Striving ever on to form and reform lifes fickle road
Burned and churned in realitys furnace to quickly erode
As hope ensues many to look beyond the universe and all
Our spirits must battle forward on answering s ultimate call.

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Taz

    Love your work always have, wonderful poem just brilliant! 5/5 without question!

  • 9 years ago

    by Nee

    Sorry I mean a "be" before "seen" lol.

  • 9 years ago

    by Nee

    Nicely penned :) I enjoyed some lines here, but I have to criticize some:

    "Like the masses traveling a path of dark mystery
    Many crave to find the light in their murky history,
    Wandering about aimlessly in the shroud of shadows
    Trapped without purpose in reality's gloomy meadow."
    ^
    The rhyme here was too much since there were so many words ending with "y", you have mystery, murky, history, aimlessly, reality and gloomy..I think they defected the poem from the first read, especially that they were in the first stanza.

    "Where hope is born out of cries, in pains endless control."
    "Striving ever on to form and reform lifes fickle road
    Burned and churned in realitys furnace to quickly erode"
    ^
    First line "pains" should be "pain's", second "lifes" should be "life's", and "realitys" should be "reality's".
    Those things do matter.

    "To create a direction which can seen by the eye"
    ^
    You need a "be" after "seen".

    "Scraping the earth forming a path which has turned and turned "
    ^
    You need a comma after the word earth.

    Your poem lacks some punctuations, you should take care of them more I guess..

    Well done on this write :)
    Write on~

  • 9 years ago

    by MERCY is never shown

    I like the way you use your words to show such great imagery its really good and kinda makes people think about how they are themselves great job

  • 9 years ago

    by Kristina

    This poem is very deep and that's what I like most about it. You did a great job writing it and expressed yourself very well. 5/5

    ~Kristina