Vulnerability.

Hey Temps!

I have missed your writes, you haven't been writing much lately and I was just checking your profile (rather stalking it ha) and the title pulled me in. I thought it was a bit too direct at first but then again, it felt like it summed up the whole piece which is something good. I love those one word titles. Not always, sometimes.

I like how you described the way you had been blithe being around him, your heart resting upon a heap of butterflies, your skirt surging with the breeze, that made me smile and feel comfortable. & I like the way you striked the reader, afterwards, with the image of moths dying. Such a heartbreaking one.

I can't say I disliked the opening two lines but I felt it was expected and I love unexpected. I wonder if you take the first line and make it an ending one. At the end, you could just say 'you left me that Autumn'. And you could simply start the piece with the descriptions of that raspberry tree. I just imagined your piece would flow better this way. I don't know. Just a suggestion, after all.

I love the 'weightless without you' too. It emphasized the emptiness you were feeling, or perhaps it could be just a comparison between what you're going through now and what you felt when you were with him? 'Weightless' doesn't always mean a sad feeling to me, you can fly if you're weightless. I don't know. I think I'm thinking too much here.

I enjoyed the read, anyway, dear. And I hope you write more because I miss it!

This writer has a way of painting things in one's head,
she is like one of those consistent artist that come across
as legends simply because they do not disappoint
with her,it is greatness after greatness after greatness

"beneath a tree of raspberries
that once ripened with my cheeks"
^
now,it takes far more then just creativity to even come up with things like that.

this write melted my heart, and that ending when you reach that ending,sadness at its best too beautiful.

:*

Oh my look at the imagery ... i don't know where to start ...
/that once ripened with my cheeks,
// this line is so adorable ... I loved the way you have constructed it.

//for I always loved to wander meadows with you
while my skirt of feathers ruffled with the breeze,
as did my heart, nested in a heap of butterflies.
// I could only sigh at the beauty of these words. The images of skirt of feathers is so so so beautiful. The last is the best one... my most fav in the entire poem ... it's so creative ... so touching ... the beauty awes me :D

//like limp moths falling to their death,
mangling all I ever was,
// i loved how the first para brings images of happiness and the second para filled with sorrow. Limp month is such a powerful yet beautiful way to describe the feelings.

overall a brilliant poem with amazing imagery :)

Reading one from you after a very long time & i regret this delay. Almost everything has already been said. Just loved it. Your choice of words leave an open window and rest of the view depends on reader's mind. Great write.

all the best and take care

5/5 :)